The ‘Sunscreen’ for Stress and Anxiety

Written by Andi (Amanda) Williams, Principal Psychologist. Known for Keeping the Socratic Method Alive. Known for analogies or ‘Andi-ologies’.

This article was written by the author without AI; it’s a natural product made from recycled electrons, and any errors in tact, or fact, are transmission errors made by the electrons.

TLDR; Talking about how we all have such high levels of stress and anxiety, without talking about prevention, is like talking about skin cancer without mentioning sunscreen. Psychologists are life coaches too. Your health is like a leaking tap, the longer you leave it leaking, the more it leaks and the more expensive it gets to fix.

This isn’t a statistic (I haven’t been able to find any), but it’s my lived experience as a psychologist:

On average, 20 of 20 new clients tell me they have anxiety, or self label with ‘anxiety’ (or ‘stress’ or ‘burnout’ or ‘depression’)
On average, 1 of 20 new clients say they have heard of Progressive Muscle Relaxation, grounding, perspective taking, box breathing, object meditation, etc.

As an analogy, this is like 20 people coming to you saying that they have struggled for weeks/months/years with sunburn and now they think they have skin cancer, and when you ask, ‘did you wear sunscreen?’, 19 of those 20 say, ‘what’s sunscreen?’ 😒

I’m not sure how I can help change the narrative, but it needs to change – yesterday. I’ll be upfront, I’m pretty frustrated with the media and social media for their part in perpetuating this.

The Cost of Waiting

If you think you don’t need help, or you’re only struggling a little, make some decisions now: when will you talk to someone? What will be the ‘final straw’? What’s the cost for waiting until it gets worse?

There are clients that tell me they wished they had come to see me (or another professional) sooner. The average Aussie saves $9,000-$23,000 with early intervention psychological treatment. What are some comments from people experienced as the cost of waiting?

It is really hard to get healthy again, it’s like I have to climb a mountain now
Too sick to work
My kids don’t/won’t speak to me
We had a long-term loving relationship, but she/he eventually left because they couldn’t take my negativity and self-destruction anymore
I lost myself in alcohol/drugs to numb the pain
My priorities were wrong (not suited to my values) and I regret all the time I lost to something that isn’t important to me
I stopped exercising and eating well, it’s really hard to get back to a healthy weight
Distracted myself with gambling and lost my life savings
I was fired for not showing up to work
Lost touch with my friends and can’t get them back
I cheated on the love of my life because I was insecure and they said they’d never take me back. I’m heartbroken.

Generally speaking, if you are starting to experience symptoms that you aren’t coping well or are feeling stressed, don’t wait more than a few weeks to talk to someone. If you wait months or years, you could experience some of the above outcomes.

Your health is like a leaking tap, the longer you let it leak, the more damage it causes, and the more expensive it is to fix.

When to Reach Out

I’ve had hundreds of conversations with clients and we’ve identified a time in their past when it would have been a good time to talk to a professional like a psychologist. Early intervention – applying the ‘sunscreen’ so to speak – would be to learn how to undo or prevent the damage of long-term unmanaged anxiety, learning about stress before it leads to burnout, preventing depression by doing both of these –remember my ‘bear attack’ analogy!

Here are some issues identify by clients when they realised in hindsight they could/should have gone to see someone ‘back then’. (Remember, stress should last hours or days. If you are struggling for weeks/months, you’re waiting too long to talk to someone)

any difficulties sleeping, staying asleep, or if you are sleeping less than 8-9 hours every night
feeling tired during the day or needing caffeine every day to stay awake
getting the ‘Sunday scaries’ (especially if it’s every night and not just Sunday)
having difficulties with coworkers/bosses at your job or feeling your job sucks when you previously enjoyed it
having the feeling ‘I don’t want to go to sleep because it starts all over again tomorrow’
feeling ‘meh’ or losing your motivation to do your usual routine
becoming a legal adult and realising you don’t want to become your parents but don’t know how to make that happen
arguing with your significant other more than you used to
feeling like you don’t know how to act around people or that other people seem to have expectations of you that they don’t say out loud so you don’t know the expectation exists
any of your firsts – first job, first relationship, renting, living in a new state, buying a home, getting married, parenting etc.
difficult or painful ending to relationship (romantic or friends)
saying ‘I’m too busy’, most of the time
saying ‘I’m too tired’, most of the time
trying to sift through all the ‘parenting advice’ 😒
while becoming a parent can change your relationship, sleep deprivation aside, you aren’t supposed to fight every day
starting a new business (entrepreneurs)
losing a loved one through an argument (estranged) or death

Psychologists are Life Coaches too

Seeing a psychologist for life coaching may seem counter intuitive. Don’t psychologists just diagnose and label mentally ill people? NO. We don’t. There are all kinds of psychologists, including sports psychologists who can help people reach their peak performance.

It’s not my goal to have clients see me every fortnight for the rest of their lives. It’s my goal to help you reach the point where you don’t need guidance or advice fortnightly anymore. 🎉 While you’re getting guidance or advice from me, I also hope that you feel comfortable passing it on to others. 😍 Learning more about ourselves and ‘how we tick’ is a courageous act, and if we all do some self-reflection, we can keep ourselves on track to be our best.

Remember, ‘mental health’ is just health; your brain is inside your body! Seeking advice when you first start experiencing stress or anxiety, can prevent serious harm and save you a lot of money – the average adult saves AU$9,000-$23,000. From that perspective, who can afford to wait? Many psychologists offer reasonable fees and some offer different amounts for concession card holders or financial hardship – review our fees here, Everyone Psychology is currently offering a gap fee of $30 for financial hardship.

If you are starting to experience difficulties at work or at home, waiting until things get worse can cost you more than money. Help is available, and you definitely aren’t alone (even if it feels that way). 💚💛 Please talk to someone, like a free crisis service. If you want to talk to Andi, book online now or contact us.

The ‘Sunscreen’ for Stress and Anxiety

The Cost of Waiting

When to Reach Out

Psychologists are Life Coaches too

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