How To Get More Sleep

This is Part 2 in the Sleep series.
Read Part 1: sleeping more can save your life
Read Part 3: relaxation is easy when you know how

“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”

Internet Wisdom

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Actual Science for Better Sleep

I Tried It, It Didn’t Work?

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Most people immediately improve their emotional regulation, cognitive functioning and even reduce their stress/anxiety/depression symptoms by getting more sleep. Why to get more sleep? Read Part 1: sleeping more can save your life. How to get more sleep? By following the actual science for good sleep, including a behavioural conditioning sleep routine (keep reading!).

If it doesn’t work for you, I’m so sorry and that sucks. 💚💛 It’s going to take you longer to get better quality sleep – keep at it! If you aren’t sure what the issue is, please talk to a professional. Please note that this guide is general only, and if you book a session with me we’ll be able to better tailor these suggestions to your unique circumstances.

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General Guide

The usual advice about sleep includes:

• Go to bed/get up at the same time every day
• Avoid your phone/tablet before bed
• Avoid caffeine in the late afternoon
• Avoid alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine before bed
• Create a comfortable bedroom temperature (17-19°C)
• Exercise daily, but avoid intense exercise before bed.

Honestly, this advice is fine. It’s not untrue. If this already works for you, awesome! If it doesn’t, please don’t give up on good sleep. There’s more than one way to get it ‘right’. ‘Right’ in this context, simply means achieving the actual scientific outcomes that these suggestions are trying to accomplish.

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Actual Science for Better Sleep

Based on my scientific literature reviews, here is how I help my clients get the right amount of sleep using behavioural conditioning and sleep science for a bedtime routine (it also works on kids!).

A behavioural conditioning sleep routine, that (should) actually work, includes five general categories:

1. Follow the rules of conditioning
2. Tidy your external world
3. Tidy your internal world
4. Physiological hints
5. Induce relaxation

Here’s each category in more detail:

1. Follow the rules of conditioning
   • Choose a list of things to do before you sleep. Do them every.single.time. and in the exact same order. It’s ok to play around with the order for the first couple of weeks, but after that, stick to the same order as close as possible. (Once you become ‘conditioned’ your routine can take less than 15 minutes, but it may start as long as 60 minutes.)
   • If you aren’t asleep in 15-30 minutes, get up and do your routine again. Do NOT lie in bed awake. In almost 10 years I’ve only had one client who needed to do their routine 3 times – it happened in their first week, and after that, never again.
   • Only ever do two things in bed: sleep, and ‘relationship time’ (either with another consenting adult or yourself 😉)
   • Once you have a routine, sleep as long as you need until you feel well rested – clear that sleep debt, sleep as much as your body will allow you. Yes, anytime of day is fine – BUT you must do your sleep routine every time.
   • A psychologist can help you to learn more about conditioning if you’re unsure.
2. Tidy your external world
   • Give your mind clear signals that the day is over. e.g. put out water for pets, clean the kitchen, turn off the TV, turn out the lights.
   • A psychologist can help you to learn ways to ‘tidy your external world’ to do this if you’re unsure.
3. Tidy your internal world
   • Tidy your ‘internal world’ the same way you tidy your ‘external world’. You can try different ways of journaling, to help prevent or reduce rumination.
   • A psychologist can help you to learn ways to ‘tidy your internal world’ to do this if you’re unsure.
4. Physiological hints
   • Lower your core body temperature, i.e. have a warm shower (or similar).
   • Clean your teeth (this isn’t psychologically necessary it’s just good for you 😉 )
   • Supper should be light, and not eaten 1-2 hours before sleep.
   • A comfortable (slightly cool) temperature is worth investing in climate control, or use separate blankets to your bedmate
   • Simple uncluttered (stimulus free) bedrooms: that means no TV, no tablet, no phone scrolling. Yes, you can read a book, or an e-book (no blue screen though!) and yes you can use your phone as a book (i.e. if a book can’t do it, you can’t do it on your phone).
   • Eliminate/reduce noise and sound, as these tend to stimulate our hindbrain to wake us up (threat response).
   • A psychologist can help you to learn more about your physiology if you’re unsure.
5. Induce relaxation
   • Induce a relaxation state as you settle into a sleeping position. (I recommend a muscle relaxation meditation that I call iiPMR)
   • Sometimes you can read a book, listen to music, do meditation, or similar activities. A psychologist can help you to learn ways to induce relaxation if you’re unsure.

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I Tried the Behavioural Conditioning, It Didn’t Work?

• IF you snore loudly, please URGENTLY speak to a professional: a doctor can refer you for a sleep study. Untreated sleep apnoea can be deadly.
• IF you can’t seem to get enough sleep to feel rested, please URGENTLY speak to a professional: a psychologist can help you tailor your sleep routine, and a a doctor can refer you for a sleep study.
• IF you tell people ‘I have insomnia’ but have never been medically diagnosed, please speak to a professional: a psychologist can help you tailor your sleep routine, and a doctor can refer you for a sleep study.
• IF you can’t seem to stop racing thoughts, please URGENTLY speak to a professional: a psychologist can help you to understand what is happening and help you get the rest you need.
• IF you work split or night shifts, have a chronic condition or are a new parent, you probably need to speak to a professional: a psychologist can help you tailor your sleep routine, a doctor can offer you medications for sleep aid (if you want to try one).
• IF you want to try Melatonin, be warned that there’s NO evidence (yet) that it improves your sleep quality or duration. In other words, at this point, we’re pretty sure Melatonin doesn’t work (any better than a placebo does). 2022 research suggests that “melatonin imbalance may indicate “darkness deficiency” in much the same way that vitamin D may infer whether or not someone has a “light deficiency”.” For now, the long-term risks of taking daily Melatonin aren’t fully known (still in research phase), but do NOT consider Melatonin a harmless supplement.

If you are starting to experience difficulties at work or at home, waiting until things get worse can cost you more than money. Help is available, and you definitely aren’t alone (even if it feels that way). 💚💛 Please talk to someone, like a free crisis service. If you want to talk to Andi, book online now or contact us.

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